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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this ruckus. A bunch of kids runnin’ down the street, laughin’ and shoutin’. They were on West Street, playin’ some game. I couldn’t help but smile. Reminded me of my childhood, ya know? Just carefree and wild. But then, one of ‘em trips and goes face-first into a puddle. I burst out laughin’! Poor kid, but it was hilarious.

Ashington win dreary affair against Liversedge to claim three precious points